5
May
Failure IS an Option
“The definition between a pessimist and an optimist is that the pessimist has more information! A pessimist is one who is almost always right, but doesn’t enjoy it.” — Chuck Missler
Dustin Ousely, a well-known educator and artist from the area recently wrote the following and has been gracious enough to let us share his thoughts. We. Love. It. It’s a big reason on a long list of why we founded Hickory Arts. Too many studios cripple their students with isolation, fear of failure and hold them and their parent(s) hostage with social habitude and empty promises—the proverbial dangling carrot. It all leads to guilt and dependency. We emphasize autonomy and, well, reality! We teach folks to stand on their own two feet. Success isn’t synonymous with fame and isn’t void of failure. You have to be encouraged and prepared to own all of it. It never ceases to amaze us the number of they-just-told-me-what-I-wanted-to-hear-refugees we meet. One of my favorite quotes that keeps us grounded as teaching artists, “A guy will promise you the world and give you nothin’, and that’s the blues.” — Otis Rush
From Ousely—Just something on my mind (been a while). Lee has a pin in her car that says, “What would you do if you knew that you could not fail?” This quote can be interpreted so many ways. I personally believe that the quote implies that it is careless to pursue success if you know you cannot fail.
I think we live in a world where the younger generations are being pushed to pursue their dreams (a good thing), but with this attitude, and perhaps even arrogance, that they cannot fail. At the end of the day, I think we have to blame each other for empowering young people to believe that failure is not an option.
I think the word failure has been used and abused so much that every single time we don’t achieve what we want, we perceive it as failure rather than a speed bump. As I have entered my 30’s, I look back and regret all of my failures, missteps, speed bumps and all other blips in the road. But I will say that my “failures” (that some people may say weren’t an option) are what made me the person I am today. I have learned more about myself from my “failures” than my biggest accomplishments.
This empowerment leads to kids running the ship with their parents because they are afraid to discipline appropriately. Teachers who have students who “go cry to mom” each and every time they don’t get what they want and the parents in our present day system nearly always side with their child. After all, why would the parent side with a teacher they don’t know? They just want their kid to stop crying/complaining and the person who “caused it” to be punished. They would never stop to consider that a hard dose of reality might be just what the doctor ordered.
If our young people think they can go into any situation—an audition, a parent conference, a job interview—and come out squeaky clean having achieved what they want, they are mistaken because sometimes they aren’t the best choice. They made a decision that required consequences. They weren’t a proper fit for the job.
Bottom line—I think we need to realistically nurture our kids and set them up for success. That is our job as parents, teachers, employers and role models. But the new motto should not be “failure is not an option,” but rather “failure to try is not an option.”
I am not a parent yet, but when that day comes, Lee and I will encourage our children to pursue their interests, their dreams and accomplish lifelong goals for themselves. But they will always know that failure is an option and we will be there to catch them when they fall. — Dustin Ousely
Dustin Ousley is a native of Fountain Inn, SC. He earned music degrees from Furman University and UNC at Greensboro. Dustin has been the conductor for many musical productions and concerts and spent seven years as the choral director at Fred T. Foard High School in Newton, NC. He is frequently asked to adjudicate scholarship and singing competitions and is often invited to be the guest clinician at middle school and high school choral clinics throughout the Carolinas. Also an avid performer, Mr. Ousley has been involved in over 40 musical productions, recently playing “The Baker” in Sondheim’s Into the Woods with The Green Room.
Dustin and Lee Ousley are pursuing doctoral degrees at the University of South Carolina. They have plans to complete research for their doctoral dissertations in Vienna over the summer of 2014.
“A pessimist is an optimist with experience.” — Oscar Wilde
Image courtesy of Mythbusters—their motto.
From Ousely—Just something on my mind (been a while). Lee has a pin in her car that says, “What would you do if you knew that you could not fail?” This quote can be interpreted so many ways. I personally believe that the quote implies that it is careless to pursue success if you know you cannot fail.
I think we live in a world where the younger generations are being pushed to pursue their dreams (a good thing), but with this attitude, and perhaps even arrogance, that they cannot fail. At the end of the day, I think we have to blame each other for empowering young people to believe that failure is not an option.
I think the word failure has been used and abused so much that every single time we don’t achieve what we want, we perceive it as failure rather than a speed bump. As I have entered my 30’s, I look back and regret all of my failures, missteps, speed bumps and all other blips in the road. But I will say that my “failures” (that some people may say weren’t an option) are what made me the person I am today. I have learned more about myself from my “failures” than my biggest accomplishments.
This empowerment leads to kids running the ship with their parents because they are afraid to discipline appropriately. Teachers who have students who “go cry to mom” each and every time they don’t get what they want and the parents in our present day system nearly always side with their child. After all, why would the parent side with a teacher they don’t know? They just want their kid to stop crying/complaining and the person who “caused it” to be punished. They would never stop to consider that a hard dose of reality might be just what the doctor ordered.
If our young people think they can go into any situation—an audition, a parent conference, a job interview—and come out squeaky clean having achieved what they want, they are mistaken because sometimes they aren’t the best choice. They made a decision that required consequences. They weren’t a proper fit for the job.
Bottom line—I think we need to realistically nurture our kids and set them up for success. That is our job as parents, teachers, employers and role models. But the new motto should not be “failure is not an option,” but rather “failure to try is not an option.”
I am not a parent yet, but when that day comes, Lee and I will encourage our children to pursue their interests, their dreams and accomplish lifelong goals for themselves. But they will always know that failure is an option and we will be there to catch them when they fall. — Dustin Ousely
Dustin Ousley is a native of Fountain Inn, SC. He earned music degrees from Furman University and UNC at Greensboro. Dustin has been the conductor for many musical productions and concerts and spent seven years as the choral director at Fred T. Foard High School in Newton, NC. He is frequently asked to adjudicate scholarship and singing competitions and is often invited to be the guest clinician at middle school and high school choral clinics throughout the Carolinas. Also an avid performer, Mr. Ousley has been involved in over 40 musical productions, recently playing “The Baker” in Sondheim’s Into the Woods with The Green Room.
Dustin and Lee Ousley are pursuing doctoral degrees at the University of South Carolina. They have plans to complete research for their doctoral dissertations in Vienna over the summer of 2014.
“A pessimist is an optimist with experience.” — Oscar Wilde
Image courtesy of Mythbusters—their motto. 
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